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Covid will recede to negligibly low-level endemic levels by the Vernal Equinox.
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Justin Bieber will get a job commensurate with his abilities, serving overly-saccharined donuts and dish-water coffee at Tim Horton’s.
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Manufacturers of trailers and mobile homes will be mandated to affix a surcharge to the cost of their wheeled wonders, in order to pay for their removal from the woods and back roads whereupon they have been increasingly dumped.
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The laws of gravity will be modified to 80% of current strength. It’ll beat dieting.
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Consumers of popular music will suddenly conclude that music of quality is a product of talent and not booty-shaking and gimmickry.
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Neanderthals will finally die out.
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Priests found guilty of crimes involving the young and vulnerable will be required to wear a monitored chastity belt.
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BC Ferries will run routes at double the current levels. Every hour on the Sunshine Coast.
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Men will more thoroughly understand that seduction and violence are two entirely different things.
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The CBC will abandon its ‘command and control’ programing and return to regionally based music and entertainment.
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The Vancouver Canucks will win the Stanley Cup.
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My ‘weltanschauung’ will acquire a greater resonance with reality.
